Happy Birthday

In less than 24 hours I will have gotten my toes wet in the Second Decade Sea. The big 2-1 is upon me. On January 1st, I sat at the table with my parents and I said, “this is going to be a big year – I can feel it.” At the time, I had no idea what I was talking about.
 
This year has been so monumental, in so many ways, I cannot even begin to describe it. So much has happened. There were loads of firsts, some seconds, a slew of new experiences, wonderful new people… 
 
A group of boys laughed at me because I didn’t know what offside meant.
I watch Fifa matches religiously.
I mentored a student, and kind of enjoyed stats (ahhh!).
I got a new haircut, and bought a cute purple dress.
I learned how to be diplomatic, and how to change a tire.
I messed up a batch of cheesecake brownies, and learned who my true friends were.
I cried over a boy, and over a group of girls.
I pushed my limits – just to find out that they were imaginary lines.
I learned how to trust people, and in the process how to trust myself.
And the year isn’t even over yet!
 
I cannot thank all the special people who helped me keep my head above water here – but not to worry, I will (in person). 
 
This is the decade where it all happens – and I’m crazy-monkeys-excited!!!
As long as I can bring along all the fun stuff from Decade No. 1, like pop rocks, naptime, merri-go-rounds, and the power rangers – I only have one thing to say to Decade No. 2: Bring it!

Lemonade with a kick

Today was one of those days that just creeps out of nowhere and kicks you in the teeth.
I woke up this morning confident – confident about who I am, where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going and all the in-betweens. One phone call later, I’m crouched in a corner of the bathroom at work sobbing. In retrospect, I still cannot, with certainty tell you if they were tears of joy, sorrow or fear. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I didn’t know what to do.

I am pretty confident in my abilities – but today that was questioned. Can I do this? Am I ready? So what did I do? I looked to the people closest to me, the people I truly care about, the ones who know me. And while they are telling me that I can take anything on, that they believe in me, that they trust and love me “listen to your heart, you will make the right decision” – I had never been so unsure in my entire life. I didn’t want to regret my decision and then a day, a week, a month from now resent [no one but] myself for making the wrong decision. And I only had a few hours to do this, by the way.

I won’t be explicit and talk about the situation itself, but today was a turning point. I had to really deliberate how much I trust myself. I was selfish. I was subjective. I am still terrified. My one biggest fear is what this could do to me.  As a result of the past few months, I am finally, after so many years of being the quiet one, the mouse-y one, the awkward one, comfortable with who I am. It is ever changing, I know that, but I’m afraid that this might lead to a change that I’m not okay with. I need to keep myself in check. I don’t want to lose myself in obligation, in respect for the people around me, in responsibility I want to be okay with the changes this brings in me, I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and say “You are Naila” everyday of my life. I don’t want to be fake, I don’t want to waste my time, or yours. I don’t want to compromise so much that I lose sight of myself. I’ve never really thought about how much of “you” gets the backseat when you try to think about “them”. I realized that there is a fine line that cannot be crossed. There is an investment of time, energy and heart that goes into doing for others, but it shouldn’t go so far that you become a shadow of your actions. If you are a shadow, then who is warming the coals behind this engine that started the whole thing in the first place? Gosh I just noticed how that that didn’t even make enough sense in my head, let alone typed on my screen.

Today the earth underneath me cracked a little bit and now I have the option of jumping over to the other side, staying put or building a bridge. I built it…and I have no idea where it goes. This “unknown” factor is driving me nuts. And I’m scared as hell. But this’ll be a new experience that I didn’t expect or ever even consider, but what the hell – sometimes life gives you lemons and sometimes life throws the lemons at the back of your head.

"Life gave me lemonade and I can't imagine why

Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky

I live life without pretending

I'm a sucker for happy endings

Thanks for the lemonade!"

So tonight I have a request that I want to let out into the world: Let me stay true to myself. Let me always be able to look at myself in the mirror and have "Naila" looking back at me. Let me grow, fight, question, teach, learn, help, watch, listen, love.

WWJD

My mom and a friend of hers have this tradition they’ve started – Birthday Month. Once a week they take each other out and they celebrate getting one week closer to the big day with cake. This past week my mom brought home a Chinese takeout-looking box with goodies in it; it sat in the fridge, everyone nibbling, until this morning – the morning of her Birthday.

*Shout out to my mom: Happy Birthday Mom! Love you :)

Let me explain the situation – the four of us are in the kitchen cleaning up, making breakfast/lunch and watching the soccer game. It’s a tight squeeze and my dad and I are hanging out the opening (into the dining room) trying to see the tv. I am on a rant about how good Germany is, the youngest team, such potential…damn that last game! But I digress…

My mom asked me to finish the last bit of green tea cupcake and cheesecake – there was a teeny bit of each left. And I couldn’t pass on that offer. So I’m standing there, the green tea cupcake is not all it’s hyped up to be. But the fact that my dad bit off the icing at 3am this morning and left just the cakey part might have something to do with that. But the cheesecake was Amazing! While I’m talking and wandering around the kitchen a bit, the last piece (quite significantly sized) on my fork fell onto the floor. And for about 10 seconds my brain froze, and then a scene from Friends popped into my head. You know the one where Joey and Rachel eat that Amazing cheesecake off the floor? And then I asked myself, What Would Joey Do? ………….. Too bad I’m not Joey – I licked my fork, wiped the floor and plunked the piece of cheesecake into the garbage can (slowly, I might have been singing or wailing… paid my last respects as I closed the lid). I looked up at my mom, and there was one single teardrop drooping from the corner of my right eye – CryBaby style (if you haven’t seen this Johnny Depp film, you need to. It’s magically, deliciously bad, but so good. Ricky Lake is in it, too).
Ok the tear was an exaggeration lol :p

Just felt like sharing that WWJD story.

Good morning everyone. Don’t forget to say Happy Father’s Day to your dads. It’s a double celebration at my house today.

:)

Niff Naff

I’ve been reading Riff Raff (article in The Mirror by Raf Katigbak) for a few years now. Recently he wrote an article about how he wants to get out of the Montreal bubble and explore. He listed a few places he wants to visit and asked his readers for suggestions. That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do…well sort of…if you’ve been paying attention recently then you know about my little trips. While Raf wants to go explore Ottawa and New Brunswick, I want to explore the bubble a little more.

The summer is here and I’m ready. Apart from all the regular projects I’m working on I have been working on a list of random tidbits I’d like to do during the summer months. I started making up the list a few weeks ago, so I might have gotten through a few already. And since I’m always roaming and thinking of new things to do or see in my spare time, I’m sure the list that I just ripped out of my notebook will get longer…

So here goes!

-eat on the terrace at Pica-Pica

-spend a day at Gitana drinking nothing but pot after pot of Moroccan and Turkish tea

-spend an afternoon on the grass in front of St.Joseph’s Oratory

-trip to Valcourt to see the raelian compound

-go to the end of each metro line

-get a caricature done at Old Port

-go to Piknik

-see the penguins at the Biodome

-go tree climbing

-swimming at Yamaska Lake (skinny dipping? I’m feeling adventurous)

-eat Mayan chocolate right out of the tub as I walk through Monkland Vilage

-Scrubs marathon

-visit the Farmer’s market after midnight (is it really open 24 hours?)

-take the ride [all the way] up the Olympic Stadium

-get lost at the Atwater Market

-Jazz lounge anyone?

-go salsa dancing :D

-beach pedicure

-start writing my “Exploiting women who want to get pregnant” article

-start writing the VP complaint letter

-8 hour walk with Alex when he visits in July (yaay!)

-write my number on a napkin and slip it into that cute waiter’s back pocket – uh huh I said it ;)

An Episode of The Office

I really like my job. The atmosphere is very relaxed, the people are super cool, and it really makes all the difference. I've worked at places where the people were less than bearable, and it makes it so much harder to want to go to work. But I'm glad this is not the case right now. But after a long week, sometimes you need a way to blow off some steam, and in the office, this usually means we’re all yelling out song requests to S, we're sharing stories of our most klutzy moments or discussing the immigration issues in Australia. But this Friday was a little bit different...

So there's this guy, let's call him M. Nice guy, dresses well (not the metrosexual v-neck kind of guy, more of the tweed jacket, 3-piecer kind), musician...did I mention: Hairpin terrorist? Joker? South Park watcher? But he's cool.

So M decided to go on holiday, leaving his sweet coworkers alone for an entire week. But you see - he planned his trip quite well - he left the day before his birthday. And we could not let him come back without planning an elaborate 'Welcome Back M' morning. And being the prankster bunch that we are *cough* the welcome back had to be ...well...Entertaining :p

It took about 6 people to stand around his cubicle and ensure that the “Desk Of Terror” Project was executed properly. So his shelves have been moved about a half foot up the cubicle wall (which, knowing his nature, will drive him Up The Wall! hahaha).
His computer screen unplugged and turned over. His chair replaced. Contents of his drawers either switched (one to the other) or stolen/misplaced.

His mouse covered in at least 100 rubber bands!!! Which, no matter how he decides to remove them: plucking them off, cutting them, using his teeth, a blowtorch, it will take a significant amount of time. He will get through this. After the initial shock and horror upon seeing the mouse, and then the proud, accomplished feeling once he’s done. The horror will linger – he will soon find that the mouse does not function anymore. The batteries have been taken out and been *cough* misplaced... Hahahaha

Too bad our resident IT guy was not in. Otherwise his telephone would read "one very entertaining nickname" he has, every time he dialed an office extension. :P

To top it all off --- his "Do Not Touch Me" orange juice has been removed from its original carton and poured into S's "Do Not Touch Me" mango juice bottle. The former replaced with water, to conserve the weight, and illusion that the juice is still there.

Ahhhh... I can't wait for Monday morning! There might be pictures taken, video recorded, laughter, tears [from the laughter] .. oh! and I can only imagine what the payback prank will be!