Luu-ee-vee

A few months ago the Twitterverse was turned topsy-turvy. Louis Vuitton makes condoms?!?! WHosey whosey what what? And they're appropriately priced (in light of LV's general pricing) at $68.00 each.

But wait, they're fake(s). The LV condom was actually designed as a collaboration between Kirizia and Design Provocation. The condoms were supposed to launch on World AIDS Day, with all the proceeds being donated to the Foundation for AIDS Research (The Mirror UK).

I'm all for interesting ways to spread the message on World AIDS Day. I'm a huge fan of piping up and saying things like "wrap it up!", "No glove - no love" whenever there's a lull in a conversation. So don't get me wrong - I think the idea was awesome. Kudos! Who needs the Trojan man throwing condoms out into the crowd when you could have a (insert stereotypical LV consumer description here) equipped with LV purse, luggage, hair clips, scarf, whatever other ridiculously over-priced piece of mass consumerism in the form of textile you can think of, throwing special LV condoms at you?! Wait! That would never happen. The condoms are $68. You probably have to pre-order and sign up online and then wait in another line where the LV poster woman/man gently lobs the expensive prophylactic at you.

I don't support LV. I feel that companies like LV represent mass consumerism and the glorification of a lifestyle that is inaccessible and what I deem to be "fake". They represent an elitism that does not speak to me. So aligning a cause I support (AIDS awareness) with LV (albeit a fake) just rubbed me the wrong way. Do we really need companies like this to sensationalize the cause using their labelling tactics? Is a famous fashion label really the medium we need to use to get people's attention? Yet another disappointment for me to ponder tonight. Yet another reason some of the focus and attention of the masses irks me. This all makes me wonder what's next? Recently I was involved in a workshop with a group of young men where we hoped to talk about sexism in the media. The conversation led to the argument, "they are making money, what's wrong with that? You don't need to give in to the messages'" a few times that evening. So when what I deem worthy causes (yes, my personal opinion - this blog is showered with it at all times) align with companies that I easily see as aligning with patriarchal forces (and its branches: sexism, hypersexualization, gender-specific marketing and labelling...) it depresses me just a little bit.

Falling In Love

I have always tried to be the kind of person who took full responsibility for her actions. I follow the ideology that 10 years from now I don't want to be blaming anyone for any missed opportunities, botched jobs, falters, errors etc. I want to be held accountable. And I think I've done a decent job of that, thus far. I take responsibility for my actions and how they sometimes affect those around me. But there are moments of weakness when I wish I had all the perks of adulthood, but the benefits of someone else pulling all the right strings, making the perfect decisions, rendering immaculate results.

Sometimes I wish someone would fix me. Or at the very least tell me how to do it so I could get over the hump and just be good already. But apparently this is the 'real world' and you have to work hard at bettering yourself. Shit gets hard to do and sometimes if you've been down for so long, the trek back up seems far, maybe even pointless. But oh gosh! are there advantages to getting on top of things and putting your all into it! Even if you don't see immediate results, at least you can go to bed knowing that you juiced yourself to the last drop in pursuit of something important [to you].

In recent weeks I've seen myself succeed and I've seen myself falter - in some of the smallest and some of the most significant of situations! And as much as I sit back and hate the feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me in that Rrrrroll-up-the-rim-to-win-voice, "Try again", I find strength and empowerment in the voice in the back of my head that says "Keep on trekking, you're getting there". So, as much as I want to be spoon-fed easy answers and solutions to life's trivia; I relish the idea that I can and will work hard to constantly better myself. Because I've seen the fruits of my efforts and though I'm sure the journey will be a constant, I'm slowly falling in love with the process. These are the wise words of a wise man who once told me that the secret is to simply "fall in love" with all of it.

PS. Has it really been 2 months since my last post?! Ick. 

“But I feel good and happy so it’s okay.”

Have you ever been sitting on the bus and as you become conscious of your surroundings you realise that you have the goofiest of smiles on your face? I happen to love that moment. There’s no embarrassment there, it fuels the fires and all of a sudden I want to giggle. I giggle a lot.

It’s funny how the mind works sometimes. I often break out the psychoanalysis and try to understand the silver lining that is my muddled psyche. I like to think that though I am an incredibly emotional person and react strongly to various elements of my life, I am also a very rational person when I need to be. *cue laughter* Recent experiences have taught me that I can, in fact, shut off parts of myself and focus on the logical and rational – I know. You’re reading this and uttering my famous “pfft”. But it’s true! It feels like I’ve grown and matured in my thinking; I’m better able to read myself and gauge what I need and don’t need. I’m quite proud of myself.

But then I get happy. It takes over. I get crushed under the weight of my emotions on a constant basis, so it’s perfectly normal for that to happen with the positive as well as the negative emotions. But this makes me think… if I really believe that I’ve gotten to a point when I can brush it all aside and use this magical “rational and logical” part of my brain then how is it that when I’m happy, the happy takes over? But then that makes me think…why do I like the idea of a “rational and logical” part taking the reigns? Then that makes me think… what in the hell is this part of my brain and does it really exist? BUT THEN… why do I value it so much? To the point that as I’m writing this it feels like I’m undervaluing and belittling the oh-so-powerful emotions that drive and motivate every fibre of my being? Am I sorry? Am I apologizing? Urm…

Writing really is cathartic.

Dear supposed rational and logical part of my brain,

You’re super cool. If you really exist then I must tell you: I appreciate you and what you stand for. You’re nice to have around as a crutch once in a while. But listen, I really like those spikey bursts of emotion that wake up my insides every morning…so I’m going to go out and make those guys a set of house keys. You…well…it’s buzzer #506 when you come ‘round.

Eve Ensler said it perfectly, “I am an emotional creature”. 

Ladies Love Cool James, but NCIS... I don’t quite love you.

Dear NCIS and whomever this may concern, 

I recently plopped myself in front of the television to watch an NCIS marathon. Let me tell you, you have some very pretty people on the show! LL Cool J - are you furrreal?! And that little woman running the show with her iron fist, mushy heart and bag of tricks – she’s great, too! So what am I complaining about, you ask? Not only has the dialogue gone from cute partner-ly banter to predictable, but you are slowly rotting the impressionable minds of the you who make up the fabric of society. The show is popular, and of course entertaining but at what cost? I’m not one to write about the plight of the Muslim in the Western world, but here goes it! 

Every episode they are chasing a new breed of terrorist: the shady immigrant, the air pilot, the home-grown disgruntled, and even the well-established business man wearing a beautiful Italian suit. I know you’re thinking, “but they are all so different Naila, where on Earth are you going with this?” Aha! But they have something in common....Arabic last names. So yes, American public, they might be terror suspects, regardless of anything save for their names. Better check with local authorities before engaging them in pleasantries!