My Mothers

My mothers Born of mothers Unto mothers They asked me who my role models were Who do you channel? Who taught you to speak, To think, To walk, This way? They did. My mothers. Born of mothers Unto mothers Who taught you revolution? They did. My mothers Born of mothers Unto mothers Standing, marching, holding Relentless in their passions Devout in their actions Unwavering in their strength In awe I remain In solidarity I stand In time I learn In their love I thrive.

 

A revolutionary act

We live and love in an ever changing world. We have so many options and choices and pretty much nothing is constant anymore. Friends, jobs, families, interests - all go through ebbs and flows and move with the tide of the time. 

In settings that are ever changing, I think it is a beautiful thing when one makes a concerted effort to focus their energies on building and sustaining the connective tissues that bring people together. I do not claim to speak for anyone but myself and I am not attempting to judge the various ways in which people engage in care and love and relationships and their expressions. I, however, think monogamy can be a beautiful ode to love.

My personal choice to live amid chaos but at the end of the day focus energies on maintaining a meaningful relationship is integral to how I want to live my life. The inspiration to consistently work on a relationship as lives change speaks to how I want to achieve larger personal goals. I want to live and love according to guiding principles that slow down the chaos of life and focus on meaning. Focus on inter-dependent care, focus on empathy, community building and sharing.

And I choose to be successful in these goals by always coming back to a place in my life where I am able to slow down and savour someone. And if that means my focus is on one particular person with whom I can untangle life's complexities and learn from and grow alongside - that seems like a pretty fantastic way to play out my life. 

"Making our life a meditation upon the person we love is a revolutionary act."  

A meeting of souls.

The concept of loneliness seems foreign to me today. Often my body craves physical connections to the people I care for and my mind and emotional being crave the presence of others. But the manifestation of loneliness in my physical world is insignificant today. Today I acknowledge my spiritual needs and the comfort and care my soul searches for.

It is only in moments like the ones that I’ve lived this weekend and weekends past at Goddard that my soul frees itself of my constructed burdens and goes on a trek to find its mates. There is a process of meeting and greeting; sometimes soulmates are found and sometimes it’s just a meeting of souls. These are the most nourishing experiences I have had the privilege to engage in. To feel true connection and affinity with people who are strangers to me in the physical world – it would be a travesty if I did not acknowledge the deeper and more meaningful relationship that exists and flourishes when our souls enter the same space.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I selfishly await the days when I can declare that I’ve uncovered these reasons and retrospectively feel empowered about an experience, regardless of its initial emotional charge. I am sure that the physical journeys our bodies live in order to meet are all part of a larger conspiracy by our souls to meet their counterparts. I feel good today because I can safely and confidently say that I can foresee a future in which many more of these meetings occur and I look forward to caring for my spiritual self in this way.

“Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other. Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction” – Paulo Coelho

Over the weekend I was asked to describe the culture of my residency in one word, I chose “re-learning”. This evening, upon reflecting on Paulo Coelho’s words I am pondering the shift that recent experiences have influenced. Engaging wholeheartedly, accepting opportunities to challenge and be challenged, with nothing to lose except perhaps portions of ego and preconceived notions. My soul has found a home away from home, encouraging me to forge a new home and new sense of community as I leave the comforts of my home – even if only briefly.

Autumn

I’m a summer woman, through and through. But this year I’m trying REALLY hard to appreciate the changing season while secretly counting down the days until the warmth comes back. While trying to appreciate the colder weather and changing environment I came to a very interesting conclusion. Autumn is the sexiest season (next to summer of course!).

I’m convinced that stripping to be sexy was invented during the autumn season. Here’s how it happened… somewhere someone wanted to dance, but also get intimate, and what’s cooler than dancing in your underwear? Nothing. Tom Cruise would agree with me. The problem is, it’s kind of cold out and you dressed for the weather - you’re sporting the layered look. Now you have to take it all off, put on some sexy lingerie, just to take it all off again? Sure. *insert sarcastic eyebrow arch here* Somewhere, an efficiency-minded person decided to roll it all together before rolling it all together ;) Layer by layer the scarf, the sweater, the pants, the long johns, the undershirts and wool socks all came off. Now imagine some music playing in the background, a little hip gyration as each item comes off… you get the point. Sexy stripping dates back to early autumns.

Pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin pie, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin spice cider, pumpkin cupcakes with frosting… Warm pumpkin spice lattes with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkled on top – tell me the physiological reaction you’re experiencing right now isn’t sexual? Yeah, I thought so. Studies have also indicated that certain odours (pumpkin!) can increase blood flow to one’s sexual organs.

Red is a fall colour – enough said. 

If more needs to be said, evolutionary and social psychologists have long believed that red is the colour many animals sport when they want partners to know they’re interested in mating.

Cuddling and holding hands. 

When it gets colder out, cuddling on the couch isn’t just sexy, it’s a penny pinching strategy. Montreal heating costs are through the roof people!

So despite having to put away my sundresses and flip flops I’m well on my way to appreciate the autumn instead of simply hibernating until May.

My mothers

My mothers

Born of mothers

Unto mothers

They asked me who my role models were

Who do you channel?

Who taught you to speak,

To think,

To walk,

This way?

They did.

My mothers.

Born of mothers

Unto mothers

Who taught you revolution?

They did.

My mothers

Born of mothers

Unto mothers

Standing, marching, holding

Relentless in their passions

Devout in their actions

Unwavering in their strength

In awe I remain

In solidarity I stand

In time I learn

In their love I thrive.

My foot is in my mouth. Please help.

My foot is in my mouth

Please help

My foot is in my mouth

It is pretty hard to speak

My frustration in the form of typed words is all I’ve got

My foot is in my mouth and I can’t get it out.

My foot is in my mouth and no one can hear my corrections

My addendums

My rebuttals

To the oh so ridiculous conversation that led me here

Here,

where my foot is in my mouth

No one sees my hands waving in anger

Anger because they didn’t quite understand what I meant

My hands are too busy

Trying to get my foot out of my mouth

I’m salivating

At the thought that if I could just

If only

Ugh!

If only I could help you better understand what I REALLY! meant

Before this unfortunate tragedy

I’m salivating because I can’t swallow,

the thought that my foot is still in my mouth

I’m choking on the thought

It seems I can’t get it out

It’s clearly stuck

Maybe happy to be there

That way nothing else can get out

Leading to the further jamming of …

My foot into my mouth