Break The Code

There’s something to be said about the power of your mind. Can you telepathically send messages to people? Can they feel you and experience you from afar by simply thinking about you? Or is it that the shared experience is manifested through thought? Can you coerce the world into bringing you close to someone by simply focusing your thoughts on said person? It seems like sometimes it is the exact opposite, and when you really want something to happen it won’t. And it’s not until you remove it from the forefronts of your mind that the world allows it to happen. 

But then, in the past week I've bumped into or seen, by chance, the very people who have wandered into my thoughts. Maybe I should try focusing on certain people and perhaps I’ll bump into them soon, too? But what if the simple fact that I’ve broken the code means that it’ll induce the opposite effect and thinking about the person reduces my chances of seeing them? Such a quandary...

...continuation

Continuation of the seemingly unfinished "Boob Tube" post...

...Disney also happens to be one of the most antifeminist producers of children’s entertainment ever! Girls in pretty dresses prancing around, their sole purpose in life is to ‘catch a man’. The Patriarchal motifs are uncanny! Why is it that all these girls are good for is finding a  life partner? How many of these girls are in school? How many are being assertive and vocal about what they want out of life? Almost none. Granted, there are a few strong-willed women in children’s movies, take Mulan and Pocahontas for example. But notice how they are minorities? So 2 things... 1-most Caucasian north American girls won’t identify with them and 2-they are automatically deemed inferior to all the other Caucasian princesses out there.

Mulan cuts off her hair to look like a boy, there are two messages there. Firstly, you cannot be strong etc as a girl, only boys can do it. But then again, but the end of the movie you realise that hey, she’s a girl, and she Did it. More power to ya! But at the same time aren’t we learning the so-called reality of the situation, you won’t be taken seriously with sleek shiny hair rolling down your back?

Pocahontas was a savage, she was a native, as an inferior to the Caucasian [wo]man she didn’t know any better. So if she fought those who invaded her land, it really wasn’y even her fault since she probably didn’t know any better, right? She still ends up falling for the cute boy who initially tries to rape the land she lives off of. But no biggie.

I think what I needed as a kid was a strong, Julia no-nonsense Roberts in Erin Brockovich kind of princess. Anyone want to make an animated Marie Antoinette? Let’s blow Johnathan Rhys Meyers’ King Henry VIII out of the water! Girls these days need someone to look up to, they need something to counter all the negative imagery, self-esteem depraving, self-image stomping media out there. Something realistic, none of this Princess and the Pea docile girl, how well do your sensory nerves transmit signals to your brain? crap. 

The Boob Tube

“Jasmine was in a forbidden relationship with Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. A stranger kissed Sleeping Beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and sneaked out to attend a party. These are the stories our parents raised us with and then they complain that our generation is messed up.”

Bollywood appeals to the 13 year old girl in us all; with its corny dialogue, unoriginal plots (although, there are some incredibly break-out-of-the-box films that pop up once in a while), add in a little bit of new-agey, overly westernized for-your-own-good smut, 6 or 7 love songs, a scene where the couple dances in the rain, one where they run towards each other through a field and when you can’t take the buildup any longer they culminate into …wait for it…an intense hug.   And there you’ve got a naïve, overly emotional, dans la lune, hopeless romantic brown chick’s dream. Let’s not get into what this does to the brown boy psyche…

But I’m not really interested in talking about Bolllywood. I still love Aamir Khan and the ground he walks on, and if I have the 2 or 3 hours I will probably never say no to a cute RomCom (watch Break Ke Baad – it satisfied my need for lighthearted humour and decent acting. The couple is great together and I promise you will fall for the two of them instantly!), but onto something else.

I’ve always been intrigued about how television and movies teach us about morality; how they dictate certain mores and help us understand the consequences of deviating. One such example would be shows like Maury and Jerry Springer. My grandmother watches these! I used to groan whenever someone mentioned either name because I thought these men were scum, exploiting people, stretching truths, glorifying teenage promiscuity etc etc... I just despised the shows. But then one day I was having a conversation with a friend and we decided to look at it from a different angle. We concluded that we do in fact need shows like these. Look hard - the audience “boo”s and “claps” at the appropriate moment. These shows accentuate the difference between acceptable and not acceptable, deviant and responsible. We Boo at the mother who left her kid, the deadbeat father who won’t claim his four children. We watch in disbelief as a family is torn apart, we “aww” and cry when a mother cannot pinpoint who her child’s father is ….yet again... These shows reinforce some of society’s values. Now, I still won’t watch them, and if I had the choice I’d have them taken off the air. But I will admit they do a service of sorts, speaking solely from a sociological perspective of course!

Now onto a different kind of entertainment - Disney. Disney teaches kids many things, it reinforces first and foremost the idea of justice – Good always wins over Evil. But something interesting I’ve been noticing is that it teaches us that it’s not always the pretty boy, the handsome prince, the wealthy man who gets the girl. Disney shows us that the underdog gets the girl – giving men everywhere renewed hope that they, too can succeed in the pursuit of pretty women. Kind of like a lot of other kids entertainment, right? Just think about Mario, he was a plumber and he got the Princess!

Disney also happens to be one of the most antifeminist producers of children’s entertainment ever! Girls in pretty dresses prancing around, their sole purpose in life is to ‘catch a man’. The Patriarchal motifs are uncanny! But I won’t go into it, check out the pictures below. Yes, juvenile and obviously not a true critique, but you have to admit, they do just about sum up Disney Princess movies.
(Now Mulan on the other hand, that’s what I call a Disney role-model!)

The Pigeon Mafia

The pigeon. What is the greatest accomplishment of these sidewalk wandering creatures? They’ve got a legume named after them, the pigeon pea. But I don’t agree, I think the pigeon is the underdog. The pigeon kingdom has stealthily taken its share (or more) of power in today’s society. Then I’m walking along the sidewalk and I see a pigeon, there’s a very distinct feeling that runs through me, it’s unlike another. Let me explain... when you see a sparrow you tred slowly because they scare easily and who wants to be the cause of a fleeting anxiety-ridden sparrow? When I see a red-breasted robin I go “Aww” and lose myself in memories of my childhood. When I see a blue jay, I think of Toronto and my soft allegiance to the name and its affiliated sports teams I know nothing about. Then comes the bushy-tailed squirrel, and I think of Fa and Jass. Fa, because he wants one as a pet, and Jass, because he can outrun and catch one for him. Haha. But then comes the pigeon, strutting its stuff – Wow, I think he just gave props to the squirrel! Haha. You see the pigeon commands respect, he is like the mafia boss, the Godfather of the urban animal kingdom. When I see a pigeon approaching me on the sidewalk, I lower my gaze and I move to the side. But in all seriousness, I have noticed myself actually waiting for a pigeon to cross before me. And very patiently at that, which is saying a lot for me! It’s actually a very humbling experience for me. Who’s to say that we are better than pigeons? Why should they not be accorded the same level of respect as anyone else walking the sidewalk alongside us?

I think the reason they command such respect is because they are no longer afraid of humans. We live together, we walk the same streets; they have a leg up on the other animals around us. They are smaller than us, yet we offer them a level of respect bigger than their bodies. There is an aura of fear surrounding our relationship with pigeons, we all shield ourselves, we cringe, say a silent prayer, when they’re around. Sounds like the mafia to me!

Ever had that dream where you are surrounded by a flock of pigeons? And no, not in the cool way when you’re in a park in London and when you put birdfeed into your palm they walk towards you. Nor am I referring to the awesome, yet mildly creepy ‘bird lady from Home Alone’, kind of flocking. I mean evil, peck out your eyes kind of flocking. The kind that’ll instil the fear of God in a person. Well I have. So I guess that partly explains my relationship with these creatures.

So my advice to you all:

Please move to the side when a pigeon wants to cross on the same sidewalk as you. And please avert your eyes! Your eyes are the window to your soul – you wouldn’t want a Freaky Friday episode with a pigeon now would you? All because you wanted to demonstrate your power or equal right to the sidewalk? Pfft! You’re on their turf, buddy! Notice how they’ve marked their territory...? ALL over the city! ..... dogs pee... pigeons, well... let’s just say that’s not bubble gum stuck to the ground at that corner over there. 

Loneliness

“Missing someone is your heart's way of reminding you that you love them” -Unknown

This is going to be one of my more personal and introspective pieces of writing. It might be a little scattered, so is the thought process behind it. Muddled and scattered.

I’m going to make new use of an old adage like an onion…has many layers. Loneliness is like an onion: It’s slimy – pungent – it’ll make you teary-eyed – it may add a great deal of flavor to a dish, but sometimes, on its own, it tends to have a harsh taste – it leaves you with a bad smell – it comes in different hues and colours; some darker than others, some prettier, some morose-looking…

I’ve had my share of experience with loneliness and with the different kinds. There are certain people in my life (or not… well, just not always there) that I miss constantly – there’s a constant yearning to be close to them. That’s by far the hardest kind of loneliness to combat. It is a dull hum, ever-present in the background, but when it gets turned up a notch it is a seething burn, a high pitched noise that throws you off balance and won’t let you regain control.

Then there’s that odd, illogical loneliness I’ve experienced while surrounded by people. It camouflages itself as a feeling of being misunderstood, but don’t let it fool you – it is loneliness. There is a certain connection one develops from being with someone who understands you, I’ve found that hard to achieve in recent months, no matter how much I decide to ‘broaden my horizons’ and meet new and interesting people. Ever so often I have one of those out-of-body moments where I look around and ponder how on earth I got to the point where I consciously decided to surround myself with my current group…? Perhaps it has something to do with the first kind of loneliness? I’ve noticed that I tend to get somewhat self-destructive when I hear that high pitched noise in my head. Maybe surrounding myself with certain people is all a part of that self-destructive (masochistic) behavior?

And it’s not that I don’t understand it – I do. And that’s why when it gets to the point where I am questioning it all, I go through a cleansing. I eliminate all the toxic people from my life, I rethink my relationships with people and I begin a lifestyle overhaul. Funny thing is, it’s a vicious cycle. Ask me how often I do this? Often. Why? Because I simply get stuck again. Though, I’ve come to terms with the frequency. No one can accuse me of not being self-aware or self-critical. No sirey Bob! At least I’ve got that much going for me. But I think it must have something to do with my nature; that constant need for people to like me, my warped goody goody rose-coloured perspective of the world (there’s good in everyone I tell you!), top it all off with a penchant to be emotionally masochistic (we all are, just to different degrees) and you’ve got quite a potpourri of…what’s that technical term again? Oh, right… hot mess.

There’s something interesting and bittersweet about loneliness. I find that sometimes, not often, but sometimes, it stirs me and creates this powerful force inside. I feel like despite the loneliness and negative emotions of it, I am who I am, and I seem to be doing alright for myself. And I run with that idea and okay, so it propels me into an ego-driven rant about how I can do it on my own and I don’t need anyone even though I really do… But the end result is a boost and a lift out of the lonely-induced funk. So how about we focus on the end and not the means to the end, huh? It’s times like these that I find that inner strength and I usually start a new project right around this time, because yes, work is my escape from myself. At least I’ve come to realize and appreciate it, is all I can say. There has to be some link between my inner turmoil and my passion for what I do – I just haven’t figured it all out yet. But I know there’s something exciting and sneaky going on there…