The Pigeon Mafia

The pigeon. What is the greatest accomplishment of these sidewalk wandering creatures? They’ve got a legume named after them, the pigeon pea. But I don’t agree, I think the pigeon is the underdog. The pigeon kingdom has stealthily taken its share (or more) of power in today’s society. Then I’m walking along the sidewalk and I see a pigeon, there’s a very distinct feeling that runs through me, it’s unlike another. Let me explain... when you see a sparrow you tred slowly because they scare easily and who wants to be the cause of a fleeting anxiety-ridden sparrow? When I see a red-breasted robin I go “Aww” and lose myself in memories of my childhood. When I see a blue jay, I think of Toronto and my soft allegiance to the name and its affiliated sports teams I know nothing about. Then comes the bushy-tailed squirrel, and I think of Fa and Jass. Fa, because he wants one as a pet, and Jass, because he can outrun and catch one for him. Haha. But then comes the pigeon, strutting its stuff – Wow, I think he just gave props to the squirrel! Haha. You see the pigeon commands respect, he is like the mafia boss, the Godfather of the urban animal kingdom. When I see a pigeon approaching me on the sidewalk, I lower my gaze and I move to the side. But in all seriousness, I have noticed myself actually waiting for a pigeon to cross before me. And very patiently at that, which is saying a lot for me! It’s actually a very humbling experience for me. Who’s to say that we are better than pigeons? Why should they not be accorded the same level of respect as anyone else walking the sidewalk alongside us?

I think the reason they command such respect is because they are no longer afraid of humans. We live together, we walk the same streets; they have a leg up on the other animals around us. They are smaller than us, yet we offer them a level of respect bigger than their bodies. There is an aura of fear surrounding our relationship with pigeons, we all shield ourselves, we cringe, say a silent prayer, when they’re around. Sounds like the mafia to me!

Ever had that dream where you are surrounded by a flock of pigeons? And no, not in the cool way when you’re in a park in London and when you put birdfeed into your palm they walk towards you. Nor am I referring to the awesome, yet mildly creepy ‘bird lady from Home Alone’, kind of flocking. I mean evil, peck out your eyes kind of flocking. The kind that’ll instil the fear of God in a person. Well I have. So I guess that partly explains my relationship with these creatures.

So my advice to you all:

Please move to the side when a pigeon wants to cross on the same sidewalk as you. And please avert your eyes! Your eyes are the window to your soul – you wouldn’t want a Freaky Friday episode with a pigeon now would you? All because you wanted to demonstrate your power or equal right to the sidewalk? Pfft! You’re on their turf, buddy! Notice how they’ve marked their territory...? ALL over the city! ..... dogs pee... pigeons, well... let’s just say that’s not bubble gum stuck to the ground at that corner over there.