Pay It Forward

April 29th is Pay it Forward Day – I love the idea behind this. I think it is great that the notion of doing good and passing on the good is being advertised. But I don’t think you need a facebook event to tell you it’s a good idea, and you don’t necessarily need a specified day to do it. So make everyday ‘pay it forward day’. One of my professors told this story in a lecture a few weeks ago – it really got me thinking about the simple things we do in life. I often wonder about the impact, or lack thereof sometimes, of my own everyday actions. I like to think that I do ‘good’ and that the good spreads in whispering circular movements, soft ripples through the world – my [urm…] poetic moment of the day :p

Just wanted to share the story – don’t ever forget that a simple gesture can have the greatest effect on a person, and similarly, a slight hint of malice can have the opposite effect. We can each do something to pay it forward no matter how big or small the gesture --- I promise it will make a difference.

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“One day when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “why would anyone bring all his books home on Friday? He must really be a nerd.” I had quite a weekend planned – parties, a football game with friends – so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running towards him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms, and tripping him, so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying – I saw them land in the grass about 10 feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him, so I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses. I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him the glasses, I said “those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.” He looked at me and said, “hey thanks.” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books and I asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I’d never seen him before. He said he’d gone to a private school before now. I would never have hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends, and he said “yes”. We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle, with the huge stack of books again. I stopped and said, “damn, boy you’re going to really build some serious muslc with that pile of books everyday.” He just laughed, and handed me half the pile.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends and that miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going into business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak! On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys who really found himself during high school. He’d filled out, actually looked god in glasses; he had more dates than me, and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, “hey big guy, you’ll be great.” He looked at me with one of those looks – the really grateful ones – and smiled. “Thanks,” he said. He started his speech, cleared his throat, and began. “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years: your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach. But mostly, your friends. I’m here to tell you a story.” I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked about how he had cleaned out his locker so hs mom wouldn’t have to do it later, and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me, gave me a little smile. “Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.” I heard the gasp go through the crown as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad look at me and smiling that grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its’ depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person’s life.”